Humans,
It's been quite the last few years, hasn't it? We Ursidae have had our ups and (lock)downs alongside you humans. I passed the time in pandemic hibernation in numerous ways, not least of which was binge watching Fat Bear Week as it unfolded (all hail 480 Otis) and trying to keep up with those bear's stupefying hibernation weight gain. In addition, I spent a week in Tahoe trying to talk some sense into burglarbear(s) Hank The Tank, but he'd have none of it. But most importantly, I busied myself in the kitchen, doing what I love most: experimenting with flavors and textures from my past, creating a new kind of cuisine that brings a small sense of succor to those around me.
Seeing some of your friendly faces at the limited dinners we've been able to host has been so delightful, and I'm thrilled we're now able to charge ahead with full capacity. I have to say that coming out of pandemic hibernation has been a long time coming for me and I am starved for good conversation, community and, well, a damn fine dinner party. That's why I am personally inviting all of you, my human friends, to come out and join me for a dining experience as we emerge from our collective hibernation. I would love to reconnect and reimagine life going forward. Will you join me?
Our current offerings
I was in the kitchen the other day actualizing the ham sandwich of my dreams when a distant memory came darting back. Many of you would recognize Chester the Cheetah from a well known cheese puffs brand. But, it's possible you did not know that this cartoon caricature was based on an actual cheetah, with whom I am well acquainted. First off, I have to say that the real Chester was nothing like his sketchy representation. The Chester I met in my time traveling with the circus was a very high class and well educated epicurean. This was the kind of cool cat who could tell you the style and region of a wine from a simple sniff. He was the kind of feline who preferred a gig in Lion Taming over the Serengeti because it came with world travel and a memory foam bed.
Once, when we had a weekend off, Chester and I went to work on creating a gourmet Argentenian-inspired cheese puff with the highest quality ingredients we could find. I must say the results were tantalizingly delicious and dangerously cheesy. Chester eventually sold his recipe and became the spokesperson for that brand that mass-produced it, reducing what we had labored over to mere processed fluff.
The good news, however, is that Chester made a ton of dough and is now retired somewhere near Lake Como. He owns his own farm and has the leisurely hobby of smoking meat from his fields, pairing it with fine Italian wine and gourmet cheeses whenever he pleases. This brings me back to the ham sandwich I created in my kitchen: I call it "Chester's Chimera" out of respect for my old friend, and because it includes a dangerously cheesy cheese puff that is reminiscent of our old experiment.
CHESTER’S CHIMERA
serves 8
for pao de queijo
2 cups tapioca flour
1 cup 2% milk
1/2 cup salted butter
1 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups grated parmesan cheese
2 eggs
for pickled mustard seeds
5 oz dried yellow mustard seeds
2 1/2 fl. oz cider vinegar
2 1/2 fl. oz white distilled vinegar
3 tbsp brown sugar
2 tbsp + 1 tsp kosher salt
1 bay leaf
for ham sandwich
8 cups mixed greens
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
2 baskets cherry tomatoes
1 lb. sliced ham
pickled mustard seeds
for pao de queijo
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
In a 6qt. pot bring the milk, salt and butter to a boil while constantly stirring mixture.
Once boiling, remove the mixture from heat.
Slowly add tapioca flour, stirring constantly until thoroughly mixed. Use a wooden spoon or pestle for this as the tapioca flour will bind up quickly.
Add the cheese and eggs to mixture. Use pestle to knead the ingredients together until there are no lumps. Mix until smooth.
Form dough into 8 ovals with a flat bottom. After you bake them you'll slice in half and this will be your sandwich bun.
Bake until golden brown, about 20 minutes.
for pickled mustard seeds
Boil and strain mustard seeds in plain water three separate times, changing the water and rinsing the seeds in between each boil. (this is very important to ensure they lose their bitterness).
After third boil and rinse, chill the seeds.
Put chilled seeds in a pot with the other ingredients. Bring to a boil, then lower to simmer. Cook on low for about 15-20 minutes.
Chill again and they're ready to go!
for ham sandwich
Slice the pao de queijo in the middle to create your bun.
Add sliced ham.
Cover with foil & place in the oven just long enough so the ham is warm.
When mini sandwiches are warm, put a small spoonful of pickled mustard seeds inside each one.
In a separate bowl, toss cherry tomatoes with salt and pepper, extra virgin olive oil, and cider vinegar.
Place your mixed greens in another bowl. Pour the liquid from tomatoes over the greens, and toss together to dress the salad. Season with salt and pepper.
to plate
Evenly divide the salad mix on each plate. Top with seasoned tomatoes and the sandwich.
Feel free to drizzle more mustard seeds on the salad. Enjoy!
COMEBACK COLA
Simply put, this is the best hangover cure I know. Craft one of these up after a long night of partying and you'll be right back in it.
2 oz. cold brew concentrate
1 oz. espresso liqueur
1 oz. bailey's
top with coca cola
In a highball glass filled with ice, pour in this order: cold brew concentrate, espresso liqueur, Baileys. Top with Coca Cola (glass bottle version) and give it a good stir. Enjoy the extra giddy-up!